im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
