He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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