hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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