Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
