proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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