I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
