I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
