what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Randomize
