We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
