There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
