after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
