apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
