Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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