We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I have already put on my inside pants.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
