She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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