nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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