I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
