My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I will pee on everything he values.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
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