in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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