I'm passing your future prison.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
