this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
