U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
