Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Holy shit dude........stairs
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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