dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
