I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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