So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
