I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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