Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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