i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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