Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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