i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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