dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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