i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
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