Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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