my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize