I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
