I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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