I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i think i have two assholes
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
