mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.