I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
