I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
