Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize