I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
They took my balls.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
