I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize