Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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