ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
