I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
