your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The Olympian is in my bed
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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