: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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