too bad you live with your parents still
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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