i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
