Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
