I hate your face
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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