I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We got so high we made milksteak
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
