it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
